As the playoff drive strikes fantasy football and the number of regular-season games remaining dwindles, it’s time to take a quick look at where my two teams stand:
The Scooters: 4-6 (4-1 in the West Division)
In what has been one of the strangest fantasy football seasons I can remember experiencing, I’m facing an uphill battle in the Wolfpack Fantasy Football League. The obvious downside is my overall record; however, the upside is my stellar performance in division play would conceivably give me tiebreaker advantages in most scenarios. The two guys ahead of me in my division are both 5-5, and with two games left in our regular season, the only option for me is to win out and then hope both of those teams lose at least one more game. This would allow me to sneak into the playoffs as the West Division representative, and while I would be doing so with a team that falls far below my usual standards, the Scooters are showing signs of life down the stretch. And after this happened last year, I’m due for some actual good luck for once in this league, right?
Right?
Blind Midget Patrol: 5-5 (2-1 in the Brooklyn Decker Division)
On the heels of a crushing one-point loss, my gut reaction is to throw in the towel in this league. I lost by a single point last week, because faggot-ass Tom Brady threw an 11-yard square-in to my opponent’s Wes Welker on the last play of the game instead of throwing a Hail Mary like someone would who wasn’t quite to faggot-assity. In fact, I could see all of this unfolding after Belicheat made the unconscionable decision to go for it on 4th-and-2 from his own 29-yard line, basically giving the Colts the game. Knowing that Brady would try to pad his stats rather than risk throwing an interception on a meaningless Hail Mary, I had an eerie feeling that he would dump it down to Welker with no time left on the clock—and that is exactly what happened. Of course, when my guy Michael Turner had 111 yards on nine carries in the second quarter and then was lost for the game with an ankle injury, I should have known it wasn’t to be my day.
In the Beyond the Glory ’09 League, we play a 13-week regular season, so at least there are three contests left to make up some ground. In this 14-team league, there are five teams remaining with a 5-5 record, so I do still have an outside shot. However, I have accepted the fact that last week’s brutal setback will likely end up costing me a playoff spot.
Oh well. That’s fantasy football. Giddyup.
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