Friday, September 19, 2008

Limerick Friday LXXXXIII: OSU Is Sports' Tina Turner: The Beatings Just Won't Stop


Before the game, "Go Bucks" is heard far and wide
After, Herbstreit and Musburger held each other and cried
It's like being in the Kentucky Derby and getting lapped
To repeatedly get in big games and get bitch-slapped
If Ohio State had any self-respect, they'd run away and hide

The Ryder Cup is off to a great start in Kentucky
It's time for the Americans to be more than plucky
Tiger always plays only for himself
So it's better for the U.S. that he's on the shelf
The Europeans always play for fun, like they don't give a fuck-y

It's hurricane season for a decimated Wall Street
Yet it hasn't been a storm that's knocked the economy off its feet
It's been an administration that's got its head up its ass
Stupider than DeSean Jackson going out for a long pass
Time to start over from scratch so we can avoid a repeat

'Bama and Arkansas is considered the Weasel Bowl
Between Saban and Petrino, who's the bigger asshole?
They both lie to the fans and media left and right
And both are prone to pick flight over fight
They'll compare notes about to which devil they sold their soul

Troubles ranging from melanoma to high cholesterol
Can McCain even make it through the campaign's long haul?
It's a far question to ask, every smart person says
So we're not left with a pageant winner as prez
Make the hypocrite's records public, unless you'd rather hide than stand tall

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