There was once a safety named Bernard
Who liked to blitz the quarterback very hard
Now he's got his own fan club
For putting a man named Brady in the tub
Now the Hoody has to play a different cheating card
Yet another hurricane approaches, name of Ike
The citizens of Texas have begun to take a hike
Flooding is predicted far and wide
Hope for all to avoid the deathly tide
But it would be kind of cool if the Bush compound it did strike
He threw jump balls to Moss for the Vikes
Tossed out of Miami, too hurt to take hikes
If an overrated QB falls without fanfare
Does anyone in the forest really care?
Daunte will spend the rest of his days on cruises with dykes
First he said the Prez doesn’t care about black folks
Now he's busy assaulting the paparazzi with kicks and pokes
Vandalism and battery are the charges for Kanye West
Who certainly seems to have a lot to get off his chest
But the world may be a bit safer if he took a few more tokes
To the desert she has gone away
To celebrate more than one birthday
How to make it through a week
Without her heart and soft cheek
Return to me soon, are the words that I say
And one more as a bonus …
Has it really been seven years
Since 9/11 brought to light all our fears?
Even as memories begin to fade
Can't forget the sacrifices that were made
New York, in your honor, I shed these tears
Last time …
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