Friday, September 05, 2008

Limerick Friday LXXXXI: Creepy Old Man + Pageant Contestant = Welcome To Your New Republican Party


Right-wing psychos praying for rain is a bit strange
Scared of Obama's convention speech about change
Ironically, Focus on Family is what these wingnuts are called
Yet at Miss Teen Alaska's daughter's baby daddy, they're not appalled
McCain is a desperate old man out of touch and out of range

Jackass Jay Mariotti quitting is rich
Chicago sports fans burned him like a witch
His best column simply read "I quit"
Said newspapers are dying bit by bit
"Around the Horn" just gained a full-time bitch

David Duchovny has always been a rather creepy dude
Now he finds himself in treatment for basically being rude
At 48, he's got a sex addiction and a failing career
But Scully has known about this for many a year
She once found him in an X-Files-rated situation with an alien, nude

Joe Pa has more convicts than a pep rally
Turns out pot is the reason it's called Happy Valley
"It's a witch hunt!" he yells at the printed page
Then he goes out for a spin and some road rage
Enjoys 3 p.m. dinners as the arrests continue to tally

In Motor City, it's all about Gucci-Gate
Ripping your teammate's gear is about hate
Luggage, money and boxers stolen by Tatum Bell
Rudi Johnson got back to his locker and said, "What the hell?!"
Unfortunately, the theft was the longest carry by Bell of late


Last time

No comments: