Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 28

#1
So let me get this straight: In a season retrospective episode, “Big Brother” had roughly 2,160 hours of footage to sort through to find some interesting scenes that were not previously aired … and all they came up with was 30 seconds of some trailer trash nutjob eating a spider? Could there possibly be any more damning evidence that this was the most boring season ever?

#2
As a former Jersey shore resident, I’ve been embarrassed to have any possible link to the life reportedly portrayed in “Jersey Shore.” Apparently, I’m not alone … now comes word of something called “unbranding” as it relates to this abominable train wreck. Love it!

#3
Have to say I was fascinated by this look at the loneliest man -- the last member of a murdered tribe -- who lives in solitary seclusion in the middle of the Brazilian Amazon.

#4
In 1970 in the NFL, there was one 300-pounder. In 2000, there were 300 300-pounders. In 2010, there are 530 300-pounders. I’m not sayin’ … I’m just sayin’.

#5
So this dude didn’t show up for a dozen years and kept getting paid by the city of Norfolk. There’s an “Office Space” joke in here somewhere.

#6
In Atlanta for the LSU-UNC game, I couldn’t help but notice a UNC “fan” sporting an embroidered Tar Heels belt and holding a bottle of wine come out of the hotel elevator. What doesn’t scream “football” about that? Moral of the story? Every UNC grad looks exactly like you think every UNC grad would look. And every UNC Wal-Mart fan looks exactly like you’d think every UNC Wal-Mart fan would look.

#7
By the way, the popular myth espoused by uninformed local media pundits (an amazing phrase in itself) was that UNC was a darkhorse for the national title this year. They were picked to finish fourth in their own fucking division in the preseason! How goddam dark was that horse anyway? Because he must have been dark enough to have been invisible.

#8
This kid-in-road illusion is just the thing for the mini-van soccer moms and the small-penised SUV ‘necks out there. Super-clever idea.

#9
I had never seen “Steel Magnolias” before until I was asked nicely to watch it recently. I have to admit, it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I hadn’t seen Tom Skerritt in a while.

#10
When texting goes tremendously, tremendously wrong. I have nothing to add here.