0-3 was the start I did fear
My ‘Fins make me reach for a beer
Chad’s shoulder hangs by a thread
His career is now all but dead
But thanks for one magical year
Good news announced with a “Hark!”
Half of infants will live to the century mark
Good luck to Ube and every baby
Living to 100 would be cool, maybe
You can take your great-grandkids to the park
First the DVR crapped out all of a sudden
Then laptop problems were buddin’
The toilet was destroyed by the fam
Costs are forcing me to eat Spam
Technology is turning me into a curmudgeon
Ned Ginn and his fetal position I jeer
Now get ready for the stat of the year
He’s got 134 yards on the fetch
But only one after the catch
Tough when your top wideout’s a queer
Blackmail drove a producer at CBS
Targeting Letterman’s workplace transgress
It’s true what he did was kinda shitty
But he was just a single guy in the City
To me, he’s doesn’t have much to confess
Last time …
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