As promised, in an effort to make up for last week’s poor effort, here’s a baker’s … I don’t know … 10?
Giddyup.
A WebSourced reunion’s in store
How many tools will walk through that door
Will there be talk of wife-swapping and incest?
Or maybe a chicken-finger-eating contest?
TGRK has killed Marco and four more
An embarrassment as an Oregon Duck
Dude wasn't looking when he got stuck
Then punched teammates in the mouth and ear
LeGarrett Blount got suspended for the year
Enjoy working at Food Lion, you stupid fuck
Tiger attacked Ernie Els from the start
You don’t question someone else's heart
Proof of why he's a douche
Protected by Nike's swoosh
Stay classy with cliches, you cowardly fart
Not enough NFL stories to soak in
Now Shawne Merriman is Tila Tequila pokin’
On the stage comes Roger Goodell
Says, “Can anyone blame Shawne? Hell,
“It’s about time that bitch got some chokin’”
This summer passed by in a flash
Been painting and trying to earn cash
So we’re off for the last of the beach treks
One more journey down to the OBX
Before Ube makes it a family fun bash
Firing coordinators left and right
Basically on opening game night
New NFL coaches make you scratch your head
These three teams might have shit the bed
At least the Dolphins have finally seen the light
Baseball is more boring than cricket
With the kids, it’s no longer a hit
The Bulls no longer have Costner (Kevin)
But they have a kid who went 7-for-7
To that I tip my cap and say “Holy shit”
As if it weren’t bad enough to be the ‘Skins
Now we’re seeing they have even worse sins
They’re suing a grandmother after 50 years
Even after she lost her season tickets in tears
That shyster Daniel Snyder has as many scruples as wins
Throwing away the last of G-Boy's food
Made me one very sad dude
Yet Carson still carries a pic of he
And seeing her remember G
Always enhances Scoot's mood
The latest Republi-douche sensation
Needs a permanent Congressional vacation
His party he embarrassed with his mouth
And he shamed the entire fucking South
Just one more reason I weep for this nation
Cold-blooded as a stalker
He was the original shit-talker
On the court M.J. did surpass
But to get inducted with class
He had to ask State’s own “Skywalker”
Last time …
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