Nihilism + Keywords = No Free Lunches

Walter Sobchak: “Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.”

Ever since Nihilists threw a marmot into the Dude’s bathtub and stole his rug in “The Big Lebowski,” I’ve been acutely aware of the horrors that these people are capable of. Anyone who looked remotely like a Nihilist … I gave them a wide berth. No questions asked. So imagine my surprise when I realized that I was working at a nihilist company for entirely too long.

For those who need a brushup on their Nietzsche, nihilism involves the rejection of morality; the acceptance that the world has no meaning, value, truth or purpose; and the stance that one should believe in absolutely nothing. In fact, the term is derived from the Latin nihil, which means “nothing.”

One of my former employers certainly embodied this philosophy. When voluntary layoffs dwindled the numbers and talent, they looked the other way and elected not only to not make any effort to retain any of those leaving, but actually decided not to replace any either. When voluntary layoffs were not occurring fast enough, they fired some coworkers seemingly at random, with no consideration for talent, role, salary, age or experience. As for a rejection of morals, well … check. Let’s just say that unless you consider headlocks from bosses, lap-sitting by executives or incestuous, inbred leadership to be methods of “motivation,” morality was nowhere to be found.

This will all be detailed in my forthcoming screenplay, “I Worked At a Nihilist Company and All I Have to Show for It is This Year-Old Chicken Tender,” subtitled “A Windo Into a Rainin Sol.” The book will borrow heavily from Lebowski …

Bunny Lebowski: Blow on them.
The Dude: You want me to blow on your toes?
Bunny Lebowski: I can't blow that far.
The Dude: Are you sure he won't mind?
Bunny Lebowski: Ulli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.
The Dude: Ah. Must be exhausting.

Indeed, Dude. Indeed. Almost as exhausting as working for Nihilists.