He's the Hansbrough of football, a media whore
As far as Christians go, he's pretty hardcore
Last summer he was a circumcision surgeon
Now he admits that he's just like a virgin
But that just makes Chris Fowler want him more
It's no longer the national pastime
Baseball's been relegated to the sideline
Steroids have damaged the game
Lockouts have made it quite lame
But Buehrle's perfect game was sublime
Spent hours scraping popcorn off the ceiling
In my nightmares, I saw paint slowly peeling
Then I got roughed up by a goddam tree
The sewer line flooded with poop and pee
My car busted, then Tuesday was spent shitty feeling
Ol' Tom Watson gave golf a lift
Guess sands of time don't always shift
ESPN bashing Tiger gives me hope
It's like Mother Teresa bashing the Pope
Watching the British Open felt like a gift
A dog got nabbed by a gator near a tree
But his owner resisted all urges to flee
He pried open the jaws and took the gator's dinners
Now his middle digit is missing it's next-door fingers
If it was G'Lo, you coulda called my ass Croc Dundee
Last time …
No comments:
Post a Comment