"There's a war coming," said Widmore to Locke
"So this creepy dude will carry you 'round the block"
But everyone called him a failure with no love
'Til he tried to hang himself from above
Ben choked him and then crashed on the island of rock
Shaun Rogers is mad that his meanie coach didn't say hello
Gets paid $15 million to stuff the run, eat burgers and Jell-O
When you're speaking of the woeful Browns
Every member of the team is sporting frowns
Welcome to Cleveland, Mangini, you're one lucky fellow
Proof that the economy doesn't a well future bode
Tight purse strings have struck along Tobacco Road
The ACC Tournament is the event that everyone cheers
The public can buy tickets for the first time in 45 years
The tourney held in a dome in Atlanta? What a load
A nail-biting loss to 13th-ranked Wake
19 fouls to 10? That's hard to take
Needed a lot more from Courtney Fells
A favorite, but right now his game smells
Pack's tough when they actually get a fair shake
Nobody gave a chance to tiny Tim Clark
But he figgered he'd play anyway, on a lark
Played Tiger and his fawning media zoo
Handed him his ass with a tidy 4 and 2
Timmy's Pack bite was bigger than Tiger's massive-ego bark
I don't have much to back up this rhyme
Little to say about this terrorist slime
Looks a little like Kenny G with a 'stache
Or Horatio Sanz after a diet crash
Might be the greatest mug shot of all time
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