Say it ain't so, they said to A-Rod
An embarrassment to the entire Yankee squad
Scientology couldn't change your tainted piss
Will Madonna still love you after all this?
Just the latest to be exposed as a fraud
Tar Heel football players involved in another fray
Butch Davis used a Jedi mind trick to make it go away
"You see, he head-butted my linebacker's fist
You think you can get the charges dismissed?
It was just a slapfight at a gay bar during 'YMCA'"
Could it really be the end of one Brett Favre
Off to the booth with Madden to turkey carve?
He came back to throw ducks in the city of crime
And lead the league in picks one final time
Now he'll leave poor Peter King love-starved
"Lost" killed off yet another babydoll
Locke snapped a femur at the end of a fall
Pregnant Rousseau is left to fend for herself
Hoping for a return of Charlie the elf
To return or not is a tough "Oceanic 6" call
The economy continues in a scary freefall
Can the stimulus package make that fall stall?
No one knows for sure, is the unfortunate fact
Best to keep your cube's personal effects packed
Nonetheless, a Happy Valentine's Day to one and all
Last time …
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