Study: Orange-And-White Barrels Cause Road Rage

Cary.

Cars.
Aren’t.
Really.
You-seful.

I couldn’t think of a real “Y” word that fit, so I made up an approximate of “useful.” Sorry; it has been a long day. Why has it been so long? Because I have to navigate @#!$%&*^!! U.S. 1/64 twice a day.

An estimated 100,000 vehicles travel this stretch of road every day. For nearly two years, they have had to do so while dealing with difficult interchanges, nonsensical lane assignments and a plethora of orange-and-white barrels that pop up in different places every day. The reason? Ostensibly, it is because of a $58 million “improvement” project geared toward adding lanes and making our lives easier.

Except that since the project began in 2005, there appears to be very little actual progress being made. From day to day, you just don’t know which lane is going to end up where. The lane that took you where you wanted to go yesterday may usher you directly into a noise wall today – or send you back in the other direction tomorrow. Even the Town of Cary deems the seemingly random weaving and merging “perplexing and potentially hazardous.” If you translate “potentially” as “there is a forking accident every morning and afternoon,” then they’re on the right track.

With that volume of vehicles on two-lane corridors, if something as minor happens as a flat tire, traffic will automatically be backed up for an indeterminately lengthy amount of time because there are no shoulders on the road in long stretches and because people apparently like to come to a full stop on their commutes so they can stare at someone changing a tire.

Yesterday, it took me 45 minutes to go 11.5 miles. I’ve seen so many instances of road rage that I’m half-expecting to look over and see Yasmine Bleeth flipping me off any day now.

I could deal with it if there was tangible proof that improvements and advances are being made. But it appears as if they are simply moving the barrels to different lanes every day to throw us off, like they’re playing some sick game of “Frogger” on unsuspecting drivers. Do they really think that if they just switch up the lanes that are blocked off and alternately move the barrels there, it will simply project the image of progress and we’ll give them a big thumbs-up? This isn’t Whack-A-Mole, DOT … this is people trying to simply get home after slaving for the man all day long. That doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, does it?

Based on the projections, the project is slated to be completed early in 2007. Of course, believing that Santa Claus will come and fill your chimney with orange-and-white barrels will prove just as fruitful as putting any faith in that date.

And if Santa does show up at your house with an armload of cones, just don’t ask him to “improve” your driveway by adding lanes.