If you've been reading carefully, by now you know that turtles freak me out. But that just involves being "freaked out" ... I actually live in mortal fear of sharks. To the point where I can't watch anything on the Discovery Channel because it usually involves someone in an oversized bird cage being submerged in water and beginning to antagonize, tease, taunt, squirt blood at and basically f' with creatures that have been found with freaking car parts in their stomachs. And when does it stop being "Shark Week" on the Discovery Channel ... shouldn't they just call it "Shark Year" at this point? Do they have any other type of programming?
Anyway, researchers recently found some new marine species off the coast of New Guinea -- including a walking shark. Apparently, the epaulette shark "distinguishes itself by sometimes using its fins to scamper away." Just the idea of that gives me the willies ... the accompanying video did not help matters.
I should clarify. I saw a hammerhead shark once while surfing near Atlantic Beach. The thing looked like a rabid E.T. had decided to go for a swim. I didn't go back in the water for like a month. I went so far beyond being scared that it was more like shock at the appearance of the thing. Sharks look like something that should have gone extinct a long time ago; they are swimming, feral, blood-seeking dinosaurs.
Do we really need a Saturday Night Live skit come to life? Now I not only need to worry about getting freaked out by receiving the stinkeye from a bevy of turtles, but now I have to be concerned about a stinking shark scampering about on strangely foot-like fins.
The moral of the story is not to automatically open the door when you hear a knock followed by, "Candygram." Don't say I didn't warn you.
1 comment:
"No mam, i'm just a dolphin."
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