Got upset when Jerry dissed
Fake eyebrows made him look pissed
Son Jeffrey’s job made him proud
He said “HELLO!” really loud
Uncle Leo, you’ll always be missed
Sure, Regis is old as dirt
But his humor is witty and curt
His retirement caused some furor
But all I know for sure:
Kelly Ripa’s career is gonna be hurt
For his signature, they were offering a bounty
The state of college football makes me frowny
An 18-year-old too big for his jock
Fittingly, he’ll be a Gamecock
“30 for 30: Whatever Happened to Jadeveon Clowney?”
Covering Egypt? A reporter’s job perk
Mubarak left, crowds went berserk
But then celebration turned to hate
Laura Logan assaulted and rescued too late
Democracy for subhumans? Won’t work
Auburn cheated for a title, but jeez
You poison their Toomer’s Corner trees?
The degenerate douche has been found
When led away, heard all ‘round:
“Roll Tide!” and “Mind my red neck, please”
Last time …
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