Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 12

#1
Someday I’m going to become a millionaire by opening up a tattoo removal shop focused solely on former NBA and college basketball players. Some of these jackasses are going to wake up one day and be 60 years old, wondering why the hell they have a tattoo of a flaming basketball with a random number in the middle of it.

#2
I love some of the return-to-the-roots and old-school-references type of stuff that is taking place on “Lost” as they enter the home stretch. Things like Jack and Hurley revisiting the caves and finding Shannon’s inhaler are nice reminders of the “simpler” days of the show.
Also, the actor who does the Martin Keamy role (Kevin Durand) does a TREMENDOUS job. Severely underrated character.
Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say … WHERE THE HELL IS DESMOND?!

#3
Witnessed: Old dude in a business suit rolling down Spring Forest Road on a Segway in the rain. I can’t exactly explain why, but that made my day.

#4
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool us all three times, shame on Ben Roethlispervert.

#5
This happened: Saw an “ECU Engineering” sticker on a car stopped at a stoplight. I laughed and I laughed.

#6
With 4:10 remaining in the first of the Clemson-Florida State game, Clemson had 6 points. SIX. And the halftime score was 21-19. Rather embarrassing for the #3 and #5 teams in the ACC at time, no?
Just one of the reasons why I believe no ACC team will advance past the Sweet 16.

#7
If my tattoo removal biz doesn’t work out, I want to be reincarnated as Gibril Wilson’s agent. That piece of shit earned $24 million guaranteed the last two years, both of which ended in him getting cut, by the Raiders and the Dolphins, respectively. The worst safety in the league makes $24 million and gets cut by the two of the worst teams in the NFL over the last decade?
God bless America.

#8
This happened: A complete rectal wizard driving east on Six Forks Road in the far left lane tries to cross three lanes of traffic in a 100-foot span during rush hour. And how does this dick-monkey commence this effort? By attempting to simply ran his car into other cars in the next lanes to force them to stop so he can pull in front of them. Nice job, dick monkey! Where the F do these people come from? Better yet, when are they going back?

#9
Mind-numbing sports cliché of the week: “Despite being down by 35 points, Roy Williams continues to coach his team like it’s a one-point game.” Really? What the fuck else is he going to do? Can I ask, quite honestly, what the hell his other options are? Go have a Coke and a smile out on the concourse? Go hide in the locker room and rock in the fetal position in the corner of a shower stall? Go up in the stands and have someone removed while the game is going on? Gimme a break, guys.

#10
By now, you’ve undoubtedly seen those InventHelp commercials on ESPN. Is it me, or is that guy Clarence McGhee the whitest black dude in the history of the world? Hell, he makes Theo Huxtable look like Flavor Flav.