Admissions at Clemson turned him down
That says it all about this Dwight Jones clown
Suspended from high school, left Hargrave early
Went to Valdosta State, guess he learned to spell in a hurry
Mysteriously ended up at UNC, already with a cap and gown
Back-to-back majors for Paddy
He's officially become Sergio's daddy
Garcia usually misses a clutch putt or pitch
Then starts to act like a little bitch
Or pulls a Tiger and blames it all on his caddy
Condoleezza got packed off to Georgia the other day
On a peace mission is what the White House has to say
The irony is pretty hard not to see
As ironic as Mike's Hard Lemonade to me
Russia and Georgia have to be saying, "What the hay?"
On a related note, apparently Poland is now in the news
We're putting missiles there, which is giving Russia the blues
A defense shield in case we need to attack Iran's blokes
Leads to a lot of potential Pollock jokes
Once again, we have nothing to gain and everything to lose
"Bigfoot found in Georgia!" scream some folks
While others say it's a weak attempt at a hoax
His corpse in a freezer, imagine the Bigfoot stank
Like when Chewie dropped a grumpy in the Think Tank
I think they'll find it's Julius Peppers after many shaves and soaks
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