Wednesday, August 13, 2008

John Knoxville + Parkour + Evil Kneivel + Human Crash Test Dummy = True Rudy


He was "Rudy" before a hobbit walked onto the Notre Dame football team. He was a human crash test dummy before the Crash Test Dummies ever released an album. He was Johnny Knoxville in cleats, he was Evil Knievel in shoulder pads, he was Parkour on a football field. He was Tom Waddle, #87, wide receiver, Chicago Bears.

The other day, I was listening to Mike & Mike in the Morning on the way into work, and Waddle was serving as guest host. As he bantered with Greenie, the topic shifted to his playing career, and it brought back some vivid memories of his career. Waddle was five-foot-nothing, 180 pounds soaking wet, and there are two things I remember distinctly about him: 1) he caught anything that was thrown within a 15-foot radius of his hands and 2) he was on the wrong end of some of the most brutal hits I have ever seen in football.

On the show, Waddle mentioned a hit he took in 1994 from safety Thomas Everett of Tampa Bay, one that would effectively end his career. He sustained a gash on his chin that required 30 stitches, tore the MCL in his knee and suffered a bone chip in his hip—all on the same hit. Yet he still tried to walk off the field until the trainer forced him to stay on the ground because he was concerned that his helmet was basically holding his jaw on.

After a contract dispute with coach Dave "the 'Stache" Wannstedt—who was embarking on dismantling the first of two teams he would eventually ruin—Waddle retired at 28 years old, which seems like it was a very smart decision. Not only can he still form coherent sentences, but he now has a successful career as a radio personality in the Chicago area.

These characteristics led him to be much-loved by Bears fans (including my brother) and made him a favorite of then-coach Mike Ditka. Even though Chicago signed and released him six times over the course of his six-year career (1989-94), Waddle represented the gutsy, tough-as-nails nature of the Windy City perfectly, and also led the team in receiving twice in that stretch. In one of the most amazing playoff performances ever, Waddle caught nine passes for 104 yards and a touchdown against the Dallas Cowboys in 1991—while setting an unofficial record by having to use smelling salts three times during the course of the game. In addition to the triple-smelling-salt dosage, Waddle was also taken back for X-rays and seemed to always have a fleet of doctors surrounding him. On Mike & Mike in the Morning, he admitted that he has no recollection of playing the fourth quarter of that game. As if that weren't remarkable enough, Waddle actually caught a touchdown pass in that quarter. Perhaps the defining image of his career came in that game, with Waddle laying on the ground as the Soldier Field crowd chanted his name.



On the strength of that game and his remarkable display of courage (or stupidity, depending on your point of view), Waddle was singled out by broadcaster John Madden, who gushed about him all game and said, "What a warrior he has been today," then later named Waddle to his 1991 All-Madden Team.

With modest career marks of 173 receptions for 2,109 yards and nine touchdowns, Waddle is more of a footmark in Bears history than anything else, but he is still fiercely beloved by the Chicago faithful. He was on the receiving end of a lot of passes, but even more devastating hits. He was the quintessential slow white wideout from Boston College, but he once beat Deion Sanders deep for a touchdown. And on top of everything else, he had kind of a spiked mullet, to boot.

He was an average player who beat out scores of players with more talent simply because of his heart. He never made a Pro Bowl and he seemed to pass in and out of Bears lore in a heartbeat … but if I found a #87 Waddle jersey and gave it to my brother, I'm pretty sure he would shed a tear. Because Tom Waddle personifies the team and the town about as much as Dick Butkus, Walter Payton, Gale Sayers and Mike Singletary.

And something tells me that if he had to beat a hobbit in a footrace for the true title of "Rudy," he might not win—but he would trip him, punch him in the neck and cross the finish line first.

Go Waddle.

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