Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 35

#1
Cam Newton cheats and gets a pass because his team is going to play for a national championship. Butch Davis cheats and gets a pass because his school is in the midst of a multi-, multimillion dollar construction project for a new football building.
Can we just go ahead and call this semipro football and end the charade now?

#2
Here’s a stunning Star Wars-themed print. Just a tremendous Gothic, dramatic rendering of the infamous cantina fight.

#3
And the myth of the Bill Parcells “genius” continues to be perpetuated by the NFL Network and ESPN. Anyone can get really bad teams back to respectability by taking advantage of high picks and the advantages of weaker schedules. But Parcells hasn’t proven he can see it through. He’s also proven that he gets bored and defensive when things don’t go exactly as planned, and he jets at the first sign of criticism or stagnation. The better question isn’t whether he is a genius, it’s whether he still understands the modern player and league.

#4
This 80-gigapixel panorama of London took like three days to shoot and many more to put together. Pretty awesome.

#5
The Eagles disembowelment of the Redskins in a Monday night game was admittedly something to behold. Yet I give you this quote from receiver DeSean Jackson about the team’s reaction to a pregame altercation: “We were like pit bulls, ready to get out of the cage.”
Seriously? Pit bulls? And you catch balls from Ron Mexico? Fuck off, douche.

#6
Alabama fired its PA announcer for playing “Son of a Preacher Man” and “Take the Money and Run” during pregame warmups for the Iron Bowl against Auburn, directed (obviously) toward Tigers quarterback and incessant cheater Cam Newton. The guy got shitcanned for that?! Hell, he should get a raise, because that’s hysterical!

#7
Warren Sapp has dubbed New York Giants tailback Brandon Jacobs “The Tiptoe Burglar.” That is goddam genius.

#8
I walked past legendary Sports Illustrated writer Curry Kirkpatrick on the concourse at the State-UNC game. He looks kind of like Yoda now.

#9
So Buffalo wideout Steve Johnson dropped a game-winning touchdown against Pittsburgh, then subsequently Tweeted this (in ALL CAPS in case Jeezus doesn’t check his Twitter feed all that often): (sic) “@StevieJohnson13: I PRAISE YOU 24/7! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS? HOW?! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS! EVER! THX THO”
I seriously don’t have anything to add to that.

#10
On “Big Bang Theory,” Leonard called Sheldon a “yammering sphincter.” Yup, I now have another band name to add to my ever-growing list.