“Taking of Pelham 123” Blows In Roughly 123 Ways

I missed the beginning of “Taking of Pelham 123,” and while I thought from time to time about going back and trying to view the first 10 minutes, the impetus to actually do so eventually drifted from memory -- much like this flick.

That’s how forgettable this one was. I mean, the first time I saw it, when it was called “Money Train,” it sucked, so adding a career-floundering John Travolta and a why-choose-this-project Denzel Washington didn’t help any. Throw in the fact that it was rather far-fetched that a rather-accessible train could hold a city hostage, and you get a bad premise for a worse movie. It’s a remake of two other versions, so I’d be curious as to how those turned out (no way they could be worse).

It’s a film about a group of meanies who steal a train, and if the concept of stealing a train doesn’t set off warning bells in your mind, I don’t know quite what to tell you. It feels like a movie you’ve seen before -- and several times -- and didn’t like then, either. It’s derivate of other flicks, and Travolta and Washington can do nothing to change that. Travolta has seemingly decided to start playing not-really-intimidating villains in bad heist-type movies, while I can’t quite put my finger on why Washington annoys me so much these days, but there it is: he does.

Sorry, I just didn’t really get the point of “Taking of Pelham 123.” If I was into bad puns, I’d say director Tony Scott missed the train on this one … but instead I’ll just say this is one you can not watch and say you did.