Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 11

#1
If you’re like me, it was a bit off-putting to see Elaine’s ponytailed boyfriend, Craig (Harry Van Gorkum), from “Seinfeld” making an appearance as British emissary Louis Dalton on “24.”
I cannot put a ceiling on the amount of money I would pay to have Jack Bauer finish an interrogation of him by saying, “The Nicole Miller was never arriving from Milan, was it, pal? WAS IT?!” before choking him with his own ponytail.

#2
Darrell Green recently ran the 40-yard dash in 4.43 seconds. Not bad, you’re saying? He’s. Freaking. 50. Years. Old.
There really isn’t anything I can add to that.

#3
So, in the Scoot Cave, my 8-year-old niece saw a bobblehead of Michael Scott from “The Office.” She promptly asked why I have a bobblehead of George Bush.
She doesn’t know me very well.

#4
It is impressive how far Dabo Swinney has come. From a struggling skater in the movie “The Cutting Edge” all the way to Clemson football coach? Wow.
Excuse me just a second, sorry …
OK, I’m being told that was D.B. Sweeney in “The Cutting Edge.” Carry on.

#5
Has anyone ever seen NC State wingman Scott Wood and Matt Saracen (Zach Gilford) of “Friday Night Lights” in the same place at the same time?
(Work with me here, the Jimmy Chitwood resemblance is played out.)

#6
The father of American speed skater Apollo Anton Ohno is named Yuki Ohno. Goddam that guy for breaking up the Beatles.

#7
First off, to those who say they are disappointed in Tiger Woods because he was the kind of guy you hoped your child would grow into, well, you have no concept of parenting. Choosing to have your child aspire to be like someone because they can hit a little white ball really well is really, well, sad.
Second, if you needed this episode to figure out that Tiger Woods is a complete and utter douche, then you need to turn off ESPN and start forming your own opinions.

#8
LaDainian Tomlinson got kicked to the curb by the Chargers, begging the question: Has anyone ever fallen faster and harder than LT? Hell, Shaun Alexander thinks LT dropped off the face of the earth pretty quick.
Tomlinson certainly sped his downfall with his petulant behavior and refusal to play injured -- and this certainly didn’t help, either.
Oh, well. Thanks for that one year you carried my fantasy football team, dude. Late.

#9
Went for a walk at Shelly Lake recently. In the parking lot, we noticed a dog locked in a car. What kind of complete piece of shit takes his dog to a park … and then leaves it in the goddam car!? How much of a tease is that for a dog?! How freaking cruel can you be!?

#10
It was a bit eerie to hear The Stooges’ “Search and Destroy” playing on “Lost” during the scene where Sawyer is getting drunk in his old home. I was listening to that song and album (“Raw Power”) in the car prior to that episode coming on.
The question becomes: Am I part of the flash-sideways? If so, I’m volunteering to be conned by Kate.