"These people are fans of something they call America, a long-running comedy/drama series in which cowboys fight bad guys while fucking prom queens and then feeling bad about it in church, all the while wearing a flag." -- First Draft, on the Republican power-brokers
You have been introduced to the new Republican savior, and he is the same as the old Republican savior -- well, without the boobs and apparently without superpowers such as being able to spy on continents from more than 4,000 miles away. New Massachusetts senator -- rumors of “new” voter cards already checked with votes for him notwithstanding -- Scott Brown is the conservative flavor of the month, and the he-Palin has energized the close-minded base like no one since … well … Palin. By the way, if you’re looking for that
I’ll be honest: the only thing I know for sure about Scott Brown is that he drives a truck and he really wants you to know about it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we live in an age where “I drive a truck” passes for a campaign promise. I’ve also read that he posed nude for Cosmo once, also likes posing with his bikini-clad daughters, pimped out those daughters during a press conference, and his wife, Gail Huff, once took her top off and simulated a sex act during a suggestive music video. Beyond that, I’m sure he’s achieved something notable and important, but his party simply hasn’t been able to conjure it up yet.
The best I can tell is that his party wanted someone who was white and photogenic, so since Joe the Plummer was otherwise preoccupied with working on a shitter that was full, they propped up Scott Brown (I guess it kind of sounds like a real person’s name). Running out of options, the Republicans ran a mimbo up the flagpole to see what sticks.
Sadly, in 2010 America, mimbos stick pretty well.
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