So, a friend of friend decided to try to sell his turn-of-the-century model car on Craig's List, and the following -- arguably, the greatest e-mail of all-time -- is what happened. Names have been changed to protect the retarded.
"Hi there. I was just cuirous if you were considering trades for the [car] for sale? I would be willing to consider trading a group of valuable items I have available for your [car]. These items include:
Ikea computer desk (missing keyboard holder)
Pretty Paws litter box in "almost new" condition (retails for $35)
Brand new, in box pair of Air Jordan basketball shoes size 11 (red and white)
Vintage Prada wallet from 1984 (white & pink with very few stains)
Set of 10 brand new, with tags "posie purple" washcloths from Target
Full shipment box (24 bottles) of sampler bottles of "happy" perfume by
Clinque
One wool, color: gray blazer, size 14 by "South Pole"
10 unopened boxes (unused) of Kleenex with lotion tissues
Full shipment box (40 pairs, assorted sizes) of Free Spirit white knee socks
Vintage 1978 Oreck XL vacuum (still works, however, bags are out of
production)
Brand new (still in plastic wrap) Jumanji board game
Rarely used, universale remote control by Zenith
4 Firestone Tractor trailer tires (brand new)
I have calculated based on the "blue book value" of your car that the value of these items bypasses the value of your item by far, so really, this is a big loss for me, however, I am in need of a car right now. If you may consider this trade, please feel free to email me back to schedule a meeting with some notice so I can be sure to have all items packed in my truck and ready for show. I am in Raleigh as well though, so traveling to show off the lot of items I have available is no problem.
Thank you very much,"
Dude with shit to unload [Editor's Note: Not actual name]
[speechless]
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