Even small children in Zimbabwe were made aware that there was a fairly well publicized basketball game last night between UNC and Duke at Cameron Indoor Stadium. Apparently, they are rivals or something. That’s why ESPN changed its name to the Tar Devil Channel for about a week and gave Hubert Davis and Jay Bilas honorary degrees from Bristol University.
However, apparently the Zimbabwe kids forgot to pass the news of the big game on to ACC officials Teddy Valentine, Karl Hess and Roger Ayers. They were supposed to officiate the contest between the No. 1 Tar Heels and the No. 5 Blue Devils last night, but they could have passed for three employees at Foot Locker for all the effort they made. With the refs refusing to blow the whistle, the game turned into a prison-rules affair, marked by bodies flying all over the floor and more dogpiles than you would find behind the vet’s office after Leftover Chili night.
Tyler Hansbrough didn’t shoot a single free throw (neither did his twin brother, Will, for the record) and the menagerie of flops by both teams weren’t called, either. The result was a brutal battle that more closely resembled a rugby match than a basketball game, with only 28 total fouls called and 21 free throws shot. Not only did the contest not have any flow, but it went by remarkably quickly as a result of so few fouls, leaving ESPN in a panicked state, afraid that they didn’t get their money’s worth after a weeklong marathon of blowing both schools.
If Atlantic Coast Conference matchups were always officiated in the manner the game was last night, the conference would make more sense. Since the ACC is the only league in the land that rewards flopping, most games degenerate into players spending more time on the floor than on their feet, with an endless parade to the free-throw line. UNC and Duke unquestionably receive consistent preferential treatment from the officials, but they cancelled each other out last night.
But less troublesome than the way the contest was called last night was the unbelievable lack of consistency displayed. Consider that, in the first meeting between the two teams, on February 6 at the Nose Dome, the squads combined for 50 fouls and 57 free-throw attempts. The crew of Jamie Luckie, Tony Greene and Les Jones (Public Enemy #1 for Wolfpack Nation due to his gift-wrapping last week’s game for Duke at the RBC Center) sent Hansbrough to the line nine times. So are you telling me that, in the course of a month, both teams improved enough defensively to commit a whopping 22 less fouls, resulting in 36 fewer free throws?! The Heels aren’t known at all for their interior defense, but apparently they also practiced hard enough to jump from four blocks in the first meeting to 15 in the second. Dick Vitale and Speedo Guy (who may be the same person) were livid.
The conspiracy theorists are out in full force after this one, challenging the absurd way the game was called last evening compared to the first matchup, and asserting that the ACC and ESPN had a stake in assuring that the Heels won this matchup to create even heavier interest in a possible rubber match in the ACC Tournament. The winner in the conference tourney (if it is either Duke or UNC) not only gets bragging rights for the year, but receives the preposterous and ridiculous “reward” of gaining the No. 1 seed in the East, which carries with it the bonus of playing in Raleigh for the first two rounds and Charlotte for the next two. Essentially, this means that advancing to the Final Four would involve not having to travel farther than two hours from your bedroom. Because that’s “fair” in the NCAA’s eyes.
But the real loser last night was the pure basketball fan, who was promised a legendary battle for the ages — and given a 40-minute wrestling match with a basketball rolled out for fun. Somewhere in a small village in Zimbabwe, even little Dakarai is starting a “Bull Shit!” chant …
No comments:
Post a Comment