Limerick Friday LXII: Bonds Jailed; Head Assigned Separate Cell

Your head is bigger than that of a sperm whale
Took so many steroids that you began to grow a tail
You lied and you lied and we said, “Tsk, tsk”
Everything you’ve done comes with an asterisk
Hey Barry, you might want to bring that bat with you to jail

There once was a rookie named J.J.
Everyone thought he’d turn out OK
Then he scored 31, which is a lot
And he did it without missing a shot
Could you please get us a title before you go to the NBA?

I have a pet peeve that makes my head ache
And I’m not sure how much more I can take
It’s when people walk on the hall’s left side
And with me they almost always collide
It works like the rules of the road, for christ’s sake!

They say Beck throws a spiral like a frozen rope
And now Ricky Williams is back from smoking dope
This Dolphins season is in the back of a hearse
At 0-9, it certainly can’t get much worse
But at least with some new blood, there’s a reason to hope

Edwards says Hillary can’t be trusted
Obama says her waffling must be busted
The Democrats take aim at each other
Clinton fights back like a bad mother
I don’t care as long as the Republican gets dusted

Against Arizona, a tough break for the Ducks
When Dennis Dixon got hurt, they said, “Aw, shucks”
They turned to the second-string quarterback for relief
Then gave up when they saw his name was Leaf
“Ryan’s brother is our backup?! Oh, what the fucks!”

Last time ...