Joe Pa is now dabbling in road rage
He’d drop dead if you told him to act his age
Don’t know why they call it Happy Valley
When Paterno is as grumpy as Struthers, Sally
Here’s a guy who coaches in Depends at this stage
A Canadian pedophile trying to live high on the hog
Hanging out in Bangkok and dining on dog
He was outed by a freaking transvestite
Before he could take another poodle bite
Does anyone know if his last name was Camphaug?
126 more lying dead in Pakistan
Killed by a suicide bomber man
It happened during a celebration, you know
For returning Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto
Before I turn on the news, I think, “I don’t know if I can”
Yet another top team takes a tumble
No. 2 South Florida is the latest to stumble
Upended by Rutgers on national TV
During the craziest college football year in history
If the Buckeyes ever play anyone, they’ll be next to fumble
As celebrations go, this one was very much muted
Coworker’s last day, he’s leaving instead of being booted
We knew we couldn’t just let him just go
Someone put his mouse in green Jell-O
So Jared, good bye and good luck – you’ve been Schruted!
Last time ...
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