Deep Thoughts By No-Look McFadden: Episode 18, NFL Draft Edition

#1
The NFL Draft always reminds me of Miami passing on Florida State wideout Anquan Boldin in the second round years ago because they needed a linebacker. So they picked Tennessee’s Eddie Moore, who promptly followed up a season-ending injury by getting knocked the fuck out in a bar fight. Of course, Boldin went on to be a Pro Bowler with Arizona.
Let’s just say that getting into an off-the-field fight as an NFL player is bad enough. Losing it -- and badly -- is perhaps a good indication that you’re not quite going to make it as a linebacker in the league.

#2
Did anyone else have a heart-stopping moment when offensive lineman Trent Williams was referred to as “The Silverback” by the commissioner after he was picked by the Washington Redskins? Very cringe-worthy moment there. And besides, isn’t that Julius Peppers’s nickname?

#3
Further proof that ESPN just doesn’t get it: They need way less Steve Young and more Mel Kiper Jr. I know he’s had concussions and all, but Young incoherently rambling on forced me to switched to the NFL Network for draft coverage.

#4
New Seattle tackle Russell Okung looks like the Miller Lite beer repo man, Windell Middlebrooks.

#5
I’m slowly warming up to Mike Mayock, the NFL Network scout. His comment on new Green Bay tackle Brian Baluga: “That’s the face of Iowa … look at the size of his head!”

#6
Half the time, the ESPN guys just come across as lost, dazed and confused. The best moment came when they couldn’t understand Denver’s tradeup and subsequent selection of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow; basically, they were being told that Tebow was picked, but they couldn’t tell who picked him. Hearing a flustered, past-his-prime Chris Berman snapping at his on-set colleagues to be quiet was epic.

#7
The goddam Patsies?! Say it ain’t so, Torry Holt. Say it ain’t so …

#8
I usually appreciate Marshall Faulk on NFL Network, but he was off his game seemingly the entire draft. Here was his comment on California running back Jahvid Best: “He has the ability to catch the ball out of the air … … when he sees it.”

#9
Anytime there’s live draft coverage of 20 black folks in a room waiting on a selection, look in the corner of the screen. See that one out-of-place white dude in a suit standing off in the corner, watching his back, looking nervous and pretending to be absorbed by his iPhone? He’s the agent. You’re welcome.

#10
Slow-clap for Rich Eisen on the NFL Network, discussing Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen sliding down the draft: “Jimmy’s fallin’ … Jimmy’s getting’ upset!” I’m sure Clausen and his family likely didn’t appreciate it that much, but a hilarious “Seinfeld” reference always works for me. Unfortunately, as is the case way too often with Eisen, he went to it the well a second time later, ruining the joke.