Was McCoy hurt or really just fakin’?
He’ll be the subject of some Texas hatin’
Just enough luck and a conservative approach
For a miserable state and a douche of a coach
Choke on that Gatorade, lil’ bitch
An outfield answer? Maybe Bay is
Mets better? I wish I could say this
Need someone who brings energy
And adds to a building synergy
The name of my band is “The Hammy of Reyes”
He patrolled the field over in left
He hit home runs with mighty heft
“The Hawk” was a childhood hero for the Cubs
He inspired Harry Caray’s drunken flubs
Welcome to the HOF, without you it was bereft
In the Wiz locker room, he pulled a gun or three
But they’re no longer the Bullets, you see
Like George Costanza, he asked, “Was that wrong?”
But David Stern was not laughing along
How ‘bout an indefinite suspension, Hibachi?
6-10 and he threw like fire
Now the “Big Unit” is set to retire
He wore a porn ‘stache and a mullet
His fastball was faster than a bullet
But he was a prick who drew teammates’ ire
Could it really be the year 2010?
And the same resolutions once again?
A new year full of optimism and hope
Old mistakes and memories washed out with soap
New Ube, new family is what I’ll remember of way back when
Last time …
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