In Massachusetts they took to the polls
With no compassion within their souls
When the “Liberal Lion” ceased his roar
Shady Republicans knocked down the door
Way to cave to a nobody, goddam Massholes
A promising athlete named Gaines
Succumbed to his heart pains
Chicago never knew him, it seems
But Adams himself had big dreams
In such times, football’s importance wanes
Relevancy has escaped the Big 10
Now expansion might be a win-win
Missouri is said to be a good fit
But the natural would seem to be Pitt?
Grasping at straws to be taken seriously again
Two candidates said, “No thanks”
The search was firing blanks
But Mike Nolan fell in their laps
The Tuna must be good at craps
Quite a coup for the Fins’ “D” ranks
Bogged down by concerns quite weighty
Devastating issues numbering more than 80
One earthquake after another
Children dying in the arms of their mother
My heart goes out to you, poor Haiti
Last time …
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