Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVIII: Battle Of Douches Continues In NFL, Plus The Mets Just Out-Metsed Themselves

Brady’s latest deceit

Rivals that of Belicheat

Who oversees Dumpster fires

A team of phonies and liars

Lie, cheat, rinse and repeat

Too much to tie up with a bow

Sad to see Carla Gugino go

Ran out of episodes

Picked one of many creepy roads

“Wayward Pines” was a promising show

Every house we did comb

Almost decided to just roam

Memories we’ll still hold

‘Til we grow gray and old

Let’s turn a house into a home

Feels like it’s been a year

Fall camp’s finally here

The Fins’ 50^th season

Optimism with some reason

Coaching still a problem, I fear

Like an extended shoelace fall

Without much style or grace, y’all

Pretend it’s normal, lets

But you know, with the Mets

There’s definitely crying in baseball

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVII: “True Detective” Feels False, Plus An Amazing Open

Casting choices with no reason

Rapt fans they are teasin’

“True Detective” can’t find its stride

A weak plot you can’t hide

In a clunker of a second season

The “No Name Defense” guru

And “The Killer Bees,” too

Bill Arnsparger was Shula’s right hand

His D’s were sound and well-planned

RIP to a Fins legend who never got his due

An Open for the ages

Played in wind-blow stages

A leaderboard made up of stars

But when it came down to pars

Zach Johnson blew up Twitter pages

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI: “Wayward Pines” Is “Twin Peaks” Meets “Shutter Island,” Plus The Time Of Year For Football Stupidity

Matt Dillon struggles with lines

And the plot has some land mines

But in a Shyamalan stunner

The surprise of the summer

Has been the complex “Wayward Pines”

Fireworks really aren’t funny

But he still wants guaranteed money

Jason Pierre-Paul lost some digits

And apparently, his wits

His dealings with the Giants ain’t sunny

Their players punch so-called bimbos

Doing the rug-sweeping-under limbo

Florida State is majoring in

Sexual assault and thuggery again

Will they keep protecting spineless Jimbo?

Another lazy beat writer

Whose relevance couldn’t be lighter

Ignorance personified

Stupidity you can’t hide

Omar Kelly, the pen ain’t mightier

Hadn’t seen it in ages

A snoozer with interminable stages

Then the home run derby they changed

And I might be deranged

But it was exciting and worth the wages

Last time …

Limerick Friday LXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXV: Lack Of Spine Doesn’t Slow NBA Free Agency, Plus The Dog Days Have Arrived

The Mavs he did ditch

Like a cowardly bitch

Hid in his house

Like a frightened mouse

DeAndre Jordan, he’s still rich

Baseball’s a game of cheat

With history, it’s replete

So now there’s a case of hacking

Credibility the Cards are lacking

MLB just wants to press delete

One step forward, one back

The tale for a genius sad sack

Pied Piper rose from the ash

Then Richard got tossed out like trash

Laughs “Silicon Valley” doesn’t lack

LeBron was dominant and tough

But his team wasn’t up to snuff

Golden State kept forging ahead

With threes and dunks on their head

The Warriors were deep enough

The Metsies continue to fight

Battling a no-hitting plight

Harvey has been getting shelled

But first place they have held

Gonna need a healthy David Wright

Last time …