Ireland, Day 4, April 9: Trim Castle, Slane, Newgrange … Dublin!

Shortly after waking up in Kildare, we were eager to hit the road toward Dublin (and I’m pumped to finally bid adieu to the trusty Focus), so we head downstairs for the complimentary breakfast at the eminently iffy Derby House Hotel. Owned by a Chinese family, the hotel features a Chinese restaurant downstairs, so we head inside to grab a quick bite. A Chinese guy in a tuxedo rushes over to take our order. Trying to overcome a huge communication gap (mostly derived from a couple of Americans attempting to explain the concept of a complimentary breakfast to a Chinese person in an Irish hotel; we think he kept saying, “All breakfast”), we eventually seem to get the point across that we are guests of the hotel and will just enjoy the complimentary spread nearby, mostly made up of cereal, fruit and juices. After having a banana, some orange juice and a bit of cereal, we are just about ready to leave when Short Round appears out of nowhere with two enormous Irish breakfasts: two puddings, bangers, sausage, egg, tomato and beans. Almost full already, we can only eat a little bit of this, and having already crossed the shaky communication bridge, we weren’t ready to embark on a 10-minute conversation to explain this to our waiter. So we finally leave, having endured one of the most bizarre meals in dining history: two separate breakfasts served to American tourists in a Chinese restaurant in an Irish hotel by an Asian guy in a tuxedo. Serenity now.

Still slightly in shock, we head back on the road, encountering road construction nearly everywhere we go in County Kildare. Battling more map-reading difficulty, we stop off for gas again and eventually make it to Trim, where, after further directional struggles, we eventually find our way to Trim Castle.


Constructed in 1176, Trim Castle is perhaps most famous for being featured in the movie “Braveheart” (Mel Gibson apparently threw a Jew off one of the turrets here, but I think they cut that scene). It was originally sanctioned by Henry II and built by Hugh de Lacy to thwart the possibility of the construction of an Anglo-Norman kingdom within Ireland.


Situated on the River Boyne, aspects of the keep, the Trim Gate, the Barbican Gate, the Solar and the Great Hall are still standing. There is even an underground passageway that is intact, leading from the cellar of the Great Hall to the River Gate that received boats and supplies from the river.


We took a short walk across the bridge that spans the River Boyne, and in addition to seeing a few stray sheepdogs and an original sheep gate, we checked out an old religious tower on a nearby hill.


The well-preserved remains and ruins of the castle were stunning, to say the least. To be in the presence and literal shadow of more than 800 years of history was phenomenal. We passed up the guided tour so we could walk the grounds ourselves, but I did make myself use the bathroom near the front gate. After all, how often can you say you peed in a castle?


After the welcome late-morning stop in Trim, we jumped back on the road, headed for Slane in County Meath. When we finally untangled from the slow traffic and construction of the country back roads, we rocketed east down the M7 and N7. I was struck by the good, courteous driving of the Irish roadsters; they recognized that the right line was to be used only when passing, and when they did so, they immediately shifted back into the left lane. However, the mind-numbing roundabouts still popped up a little too often for my liking. I had one episode in a crowded roundabout that briefly harkened up a memory of Clark Griswald getting stuck in a roundabout in “European Vacation” (“Big Ben! Parliament!”), but I eventually rocketed out the right opening and was back on track

Yet I was learning the lay of the land and gaining confidence in understanding how the Irish drive. I got the impression that these people never quite embraced the automobile; instead, they view it as a necessary nuisance. That’s why cars are beat all to hell, insurance is through the roof and cars are parked anywhere.

We made it to Slane, which is the biggest city near Newgrange, which is a centuries-old Irish passage tomb and home to one of the most extensive collections of Neolithic art in Europe. The tombs lay down a random dirt road, basically, so without seeing any signs anywhere, we just kept driving until we ran into the visitors’ center. After checking out the museum for a while, it was time for our bus to leave and take us out to the site.


The Newgrange site itself is comprised of three passage tombs: Newgrange (the main one), Knowth (the second-most well-known) and Dowth (the least well-known). Tours were available to bring you to all three, but we elected to take the more comprehensive tour of Newgrange itself (I mean … when you’ve seen one Irish passage tomb, you’ve seen them all, right?). Upon being allowed to walk around the exterior of the mound, the beauty and painstaking detail of the white quartz façade jumped out at us.


We also were blown away by the intricate scroll work done thousands of years ago on rocks that lay all around the circumference of the mound.


The tomb itself is protected by a kerb of 97 stones, like the one above. Speculation is that these enormous rocks were brought to the site from up to 40 kilometers away. Experts guess that it took up to 80 men four days to move a two-ton rock five kilometers (or something like that). The workers would cut down trees that lay in their path as they went, then slid the rocks along the fallen trees on their way. In addition, 14 stones also lay in a perfect circle surrounding the mound itself.


We had a great tour guide, who was informational and funny, and he told us that the Newgrange tomb was estimated to be 5,000 years old—predating Stonehenge, the Great Wall of China and the pyramids. Wow. The group was divided into two smaller clusters of people so that we would be able to walk down the long passage and into the cross-shaped chamber that lay in the middle of the tomb (alas, no photography allowed inside due to the spiritual nature of the tomb itself). Here, we were given a demonstration of the winter solstice phenomenon — created when the light makes a perfect line all the way to the middle of the tomb during the winter solstice. Seen as a spiritual event, there is a decades-long waiting list to take part in this phenomenon, but the visitors’ center was holding a lottery to pick lucky winners to participate during the next winter solstice (*fingers crossed*).

There are many theories about just what Newgrange was for and the types of religious rituals that took place here. The excavation began just 46 years ago, so there is still much to learn of this site. The most controversial aspect of the reconstruction of the falling tomb was the entrance (below), which was re-envisioned by Professor M.J. O’Kelly. The ancient entrance and passage were very narrow, leading some tourists in our group to turn back due to claustrophobia; I pushed on, proud of myself. I’m not sure I would have been able to forgive myself if I would have missed out on seeing a 5,000-year-old burial chamber and light demonstration because of a case of mild claustrophobia.


Awed by the visit to Newgrange, we finally departed, setting out for Dublin Airport, which was only 45 minutes or so away. Here, we would finally return the frazzled Focus and hop an AutoCoach into Dublin. When we got to the airport, we found it to be a hectic maze, but we eventually tracked down the Hertz lot and gave back the Focus. Final tally? I had put 855 kilometers on the rental car in about three and a half days, subjecting it to some of the sketchiest and narrowest roads in Europe. I have to admit that I was going to miss the little car somewhat; we had become one during several points of the trip, including some death grips on the steering wheel that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to get loose of (think "Planes, Trains and Automobiles").

After seeing that the exchange rate had risen from 1.56 to 1.62 in just four days (ugh), we found an AutoCoach and sat back for the remaining 30-minute jaunt into Dublin proper. Getting off at Trinity College, we trekked a few blocks around southern Dublin with all of our luggage before finally stumbling into the Brooks Hotel, our home for the next few days. The lobby was packed, but when we finally got our room, I breathed an enormous sigh of relief. We now had a headquarters, establishing a home base of sorts, and we could walk and ride buses the rest of the way — no more driving to worry about.

Tired, hungry and craving a Guinness, we set out for Davy Byrnes, the choice for the evening’s dinner following a brief rest to review the day’s pictures and get situated. Dublin has one of the fastest-growing populations of any European city, and we saw why firsthand as we cut through the bustling, pedestrian-only shopping district of Grafton Street. The landmark Davy Byrnes Pub is located down a side street off Grafton.


Made famous by James Joyce’s epic novel, “Ulysses,” Davy Byrnes is where the main character, Leopold Bloom, stopped for a gorgonzola cheese sandwich and a glass of burgundy during his wanderings around Dublin. However, we found the pub to be highly modernized and not as authentic or historical as we had expected. Yet the open smoked salmon sandwich and chips were very good, and the Guinnesses were just what the doctor ordered after another long day of driving and sightseeing.

After dinner, we walked back past Trinity College and the famous Molly Malone (“The Dish with the Fish” or “The Tart with the Cart”) statue — the most photographed monument in Dublin, which is odd since she is most infamous for being a hooker who inspired a popular song (*shrug*). Passing McDonald’s, Burger King, T.G.I. Friday’s, Hard Rock and other American institutions along Grafton Street, we made our way back to our hotel. On the telly, we were amused to find only “Crocodile Dundee,” “Just Married” and a Manchester United vs. AS Roma football game.

Before calling it a day, I made a note to myself to find a more authentic pub tomorrow. Another action-packed slate awaited us tomorrow, with a trip to check out the Book of Kells at Trinity College, a bus tour around the city … and an afternoon visit to the by-god Guinness Storehouse. Mmm … beer.


The next installment of the Irish adventure, Day 5, will be forthcoming in a coupla days. P.S. You can click on the pix for bigger versions if you like. All photos taken by the Scoot. Giddyup.