Unhappy Pete asks for respect
But turns into a creepy trainwreck
Lane laid one on Joan, sweet
Then kicked the shit out of Pete
Don the moral authority, who’d expect?
Whispers and rumors abound
Mock drafts for every round
Will the Dolphins trade up to three?
Hell no, says little ol’ me
But Miami has been known to confound
A no-talent, washed-up rocker
An ignorant politics mocker
In his masculinity insecure
So go play with guns, sure
Ted Nugent, enjoy your prison locker
A symbol of New Year’s Eve
Has of this life taken leave
Music the soundtrack of his life
Ageless he seemed amidst strife
Dick Clark will rest in sound, I believe
A day for going green
Of resources, we must wean
But it’s also 4/20
So buy Funyuns in plenty
And to Mother Earth, stop being mean
Last time …
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