Limerick Friday #587: All Signs Point To Escaping The Country -- Day 1,189

By the most generous of views

Just finding way to lose

Baserunning like the blind

Fielding of the worst kind

The Mets make me reach for booze

Ineptitude abounds

Direction confounds

"Hark, what do I hear?"

As I loom over a beer

Oh, just incompetence sounds

He pulled every grammatical lever

Of punctuation he always said "Never!"

To Cormac McCarthy, rest in peace

His legacy will never cease

America's best novelist ever

Consistency they lack

Step forward, step back

In the standings they fall

With sloppy ball

Will Buck end up getting the sack?

As quality we keep wreckin'

'Tis time to leave, I reckon

Pour me black gold

Watch the drama unfold

As the British Isles beckon

Last time ...

Day 1,188, Quasi-Quarantine: Choosing Speed Over Everything, Miami Drafts A Lightning-Quick, Undersized Running Back

Once more eschewing the offensive line after targeting South Carolina cornerback Cam Smith in the second round, Miami returned to the SEC in the next round, tabbing Texas A&M running back De'Von Achane with the 84th overall pick.

In his initial rankings, draft analyst Dane Brugler considered Achane the No. 48 overall player, and at draft time Brugler had him rated the No. 67 overall player and fourth-best running back in the draft, assigning him a second-/third-round grade.

The pluses: Achane was the only Power 5 player in the land to score rushing, receiving, and returning, and he led the SEC and was fourth in the nation in all-purpose yards per game with 161. In his last two seasons at A&M, he rushed for more than 2,000 yards and 17 touchdowns, adding 60 receptions and four receiving scores, to go with two kickoff return touchdowns.

A three-team track All-American in college, Achane's calling card is speed. He was clocked at 4.32 seconds in the 40-yard dash, the third-fastest time recorded at the scouting combine. 

Most analysts are quick to point out that Achane is not just a track star playing football, with the youngster displaying a toughness that many track standouts don't find on the gridiron. He only fumbled twice in his career, and after a foot injury sidelined him for two games, he refused to shut down his season and just prep for the draft. Instead, he returned for the season finale, torching LSU for 215 yards and forcing 16 missed tackles in a monumental upset.

Achane is credited with uncanny acceleration that allows him to be patient as a runner, following his blocks until he finds a crease he can exploit instantly. He makes quick reads, excels on counter plays, and is a threat in the passing game and on special teams.

The negatives: Measuring 5-8, 188 pounds, Achane is not built to withstand a heavy workload, perhaps evidenced by a foot injury that sidelined him for part of his final season at Texas A&M. He also was only a one-year starter in college before skipping his final campaign.

Scouts questioned Achane's refinement as an inside runner, pass catcher, and pass blocker. He struggled to run through contact or finish carries with power, leading some to wonder whether he profiles best as a wide receiver -- in fact, some teams evaluated him as a wideout for the draft.

The bottom line: Listen, a player of Achane's versatility and explosion is going to find touches in any offense somehow. Yet with Raheem Mostert, Jeff Fuller, Salvon Ahmed, Myles Gaskin -- and maybe even Dalvin Cook? -- returning to the Dolphins backfield, workload and role are questions for Achane.

Throwing his huge potential as a returner into the mix, Achane reminds me of NC State alum Nyheim Hines, who has carved out essential roles in Indianapolis and Buffalo in the NFL. There are separate questions related to why Miami ignored the offensive line with their first two selections and whether Achane represents a luxury pick, but the reality is that coach Mike McDaniel has proven that he is going to stockpile as many speedy offensive weapons as he can -- and from that standpoint, many are giddy about the myriad ways Achane could be employed as yet another game-breaker on South Beach.

Day 1,187, Quasi-Quarantine: "Biography Of X" Is A Stunning, Omnigenre Exploration Of Perspective And Identity

 

"Anyone who was ever fortunate enough to be a part of X's life had to accept this hazard -- she lived in a play without intermission in which she'd cast herself in every role."

A sprawling, hyper-ambitious work, "Biography of X" pivots from genre to genre as the story demands. The result is a stunning read that compels the reader to question narration and the nature of biography itself.

"I desired her beyond reason, beyond self-protection, beyond common sense, and it is just as difficult to call that love from afar as it is not to call it love when within it."

Catherine Lacy also manages to weave disturbing elements of contemporary society into the work, with references to "The Great Disunion" and "South First!" as part an alternate history. These allusions are unexpected but adeptly handled, lending a weight to the overall story.

" ... Though most of the time I did not question the illusion I lived within, there were moments when I could see our life clearly and knew that everything was beautiful and nothing was right."

On top of this historical undercurrent, Lacey builds a tale of grief management and a commentary on the lens that love forces us to view the world through. "Biography of X" is almost overwhelming in its sheer number of layers, but is well worth the work required to consider it holistically.

"At the morgue they weighed her body, measured it, measured each limb, weighed each organ, determined the cause of death. They gave me a document that described her body in the most discrete terms, as if we could ever say for certain where she ended and where the world began."

Day 1,186, Quasi-Quarantine: Take Me Out To The Y'all Game

 

We've talked a bit about the five stages of Five County Stadium recently, so it was awesome to make a return visit for a Carolina Mudcats game on a jersey-giveaway day.

The Muddies took on the Fayetteville Woodpeckers, but lost 8-2 when they left some poor bastard named Yujanyer Herrera in to get shelled way after he was shot. Herrera gave up six hits, four walks, and seven earned runs in two and two-thirds innings. We felt bad for him.

But otherwise, you can't beat Mango Tango Foxtrot and round nachos Tostitos as a belated birthday gift on a beautiful day.

Day 1,185, Quasi-Quarantine: Ready Or Not, Here Comes The Summer

 

It's time to set the alarm clock slightly later and adjust to the absence of carpool, disgruntled children, and hectic morning routines. Even for just a few blissful months.

I'll take it. Thanks, Undertones.

Day 1,181, Quasi-Quarantine: It's Past Time For The Mets To Trade Vogey For A Hoagie

OK, so New York has a ton of problems right now. Well, yes, the city itself is currently glowing orange amidst smoke from Canadian forest fires, so I should clarify that I'm referring to the Mets. And one of the biggest of those problems -- literally and figuratively -- is Daniel Vogelbach.

I've been an unabashed "Vogey" fan for purely name- and Farley-related reasons, but he's hitting .203 with seven extra-base hits, driving in just 14 runs all season. Due largely to his pure ineptitude, the Mets rank 27th in baseball in designated hitter OPS (.669) more than 60 games into the campaign.

As of today, he has exactly four hits in his last 44 at-bats, including a single extra-base hit. Overall, the Mets are one of just seven teams with fewer than four players with more than five homers.

You're starting to see the problem, right? On a team bereft of pure power sources outside of Pete Alonso, Vogelbach can provide no protection for the "Polar Bear," and not just from a power standpoint, but from a, like, making-contact-with-the-ball standpoint.

Vogelbach was brought in as part of a disastrous trade deadline for New York last year, which also saw a horrific trade for another failed DH option in Darren Ruf. Vogelbach was swapped for reliever Colin Holderman, who, of course, has posted a 2.74 ERA for the Pirates, striking out 27 batters in 23 innings. Think the Mets could use a 6-7 righty out of the 'pen about now?

Exacerbating the issue is the presence of three highly-thought-of rookies in catcher Francisco Alvarez, third baseman Brett Baty, and first- and third baseman Mark Vientos. Only Baty is a lefty like Vogelbach, but manager Buck Showalter would rather bury Vientos on the bench and play multiple players out of position in an effort to manufacture offense instead of acknowledging the reality that Vogelbach is unplayable at this point.

The only logical way forward is to give Vogelbach's at bats to Vientos and Baty (letting the latter DH on occasion and letting Eduardo Escobar handle third), try to flip Vogelbach for a low- to mid-tier volume reliever, and call Luis Guillorme back up to the bigs.

Because the stubborness and refusal to embrace what the data and our eyes are telling us are quickly morphing this situation from a Vogey problem to a Showalter problem.

Day 1,180, Quasi-Quarantine: Unreliable Narration, Tragic Irish Demons Dominate "Old God's Time"

 

"Things happened to people, and some people were required to lift great weights that crushed if you faltered just for a moment. It was his job not to falter. But every day he faltered. Every day he was crushed, and rose again the following morn like a cartoon figure."

Questionable memories and an unreliable narrator dominate the latest novel from Sebastian Barry, as "Old God's Time" follows a retired Irish detective as he attempts to find peace after a lifetime of loss.

As Tom Kettle is drawn back into an investigation that kindles remembrances of what has become of his family and how shared childhood traumas have reverberated in pain over the years. The bulwark of an old castle on the island's shore isn't enough of a haven to protect Kettle from the strain of his own legacy.

"He cradled the memory of his wife as if she were still a living being. As if no one had been crushed, no one had been hurried from the halls of life, and the power of his love could effect that, could hold her buoyant and eternal in the embrace of an ordinary day."

Presiding over a master class in pacing, Barry handles horrific content with as much grace and elegance as possible. The beauty and brutality of pastoral Ireland function as characters in this book populated with ghosts and unicorns, making "Old God's Time" a painful but rewarding read.

"He stood at the picture window and the sea was a million grey dinner plates below, surging in the channel. Spinning and dipping, each one a circus trick, a clown's trick."

Day 1,179, Quasi-Quarantine: The 'Fins Target a Raw Corner Prospect With First 2023 Draft Pick

While most assumed Miami would pull the trigger on an offensive lineman with its No. 51 selection in the 2023 NFL Draft, the 'Fins instead used their second-rounder on South Carolina cornerback Cam Smith.

In February, the 6-1, 180-pounder was considered the No. 51 overall player (exactly where he ended up being picked!) by draft analyst Dane Brugler, who tabbed him as the No. 4 corner at that point. Post-combine, Brugler had him as the No. 66 overall player and the No. 10 cornerback, assigning him a second-/third-round grade. 

The pluses: A capable tackler who plays with swagger, Smith uses explosive athleticism (4.43-yard 40-yard dash, 38-inch vertical) to play the boundary or the nickel. A three-year starter at South Carolina, he led the SEC in pass breakups with 14 in 2021. Smith exhibits good closing burst that makes him a better fit for a zone scheme -- the preferred system of new defensive coordinator Vic Fangio.

The negatives: The lanky Smith can get overpowered by stronger receivers, which can lead to grabbiness -- he was flagged 11 times last year. He struggles to get off blocks, still has work to do in anticipating routes, and has the phrases "wild tendencies" and "unrefined technique" in his scouting report -- sub-optimal for a second-round selection.

Smith recorded just 27 tackles, six pass breakups, and a single interception as a redshirt junior, failing to build on the previous season that saw him emerge as a major draft prospect. He blocked a field goal, but does not have a ton of special-teams experience. Smith missed a game with a concussion and opted out of his team's bowl game, giving the sense that he did not close his college career in top form.

The bottom line: Smith is the kind of draft selection who looks better in the context of who will be coaching him. He's a strong fit for a Fangio scheme, and the Dolphins have a heavy need at this spot based on Byron Jones's mysterious (and potentially career-ending) injury, Xavien Howard's gradual decline, and the number of reserve defensive backs coming off of injury.

Will Fangio be able to help Smith translate his rare traits into consistent contributions? Will the youngster find enough reps behind Howard, Jaylen Ramsey, Kader Kohou, and potentially Nik Needham? 

There is a sense that there were more polished talents available in this coveted second-round position, and the lack of investment in offensive linemen was frustrating. However, Miami has been awful at drafting along the OL anyway, so it's certainly understandable to use the choice on a high-ceiling cornerback. Whether Smith represents not only the right position to invest in but the right corner to invest in will be a very interesting storyline to follow this year and beyond.

Day 1,178, Quasi-Quarantine: The Wolfpack Ends A Promising Campaign With A Whimper

 

After a seriously promising start on Friday that saw the team knock off Campbell, the NC State baseball team got bounced out of the NCAA Tournament. To honor a classically up-and-down campaign, the Pack lost both games in the double-elimination regional in vastly different ways.

In the Saturday evening game, the Wolfpack lost 6-3, clawing back from a six-run deficit to repeatedly threaten host South Carolina with hard-hit balls. Despite out-hitting the Gamecocks 12-8, State hit into three double plays and left a dozen runners on base in a frustrating defeat.

On Sunday, the Pack had nothing, giving up runs in each of the first four innings to fall behind 8-0 before eventually losing 11-1. NC State ace and one-time College World Series hero Sam Highfill gave up seven hits and five runs in just two-and-a-third innings. The Wolfpack drilled 11 more hits, but grounded into four more double plays and managed to go 1-for-12 with runners in scoring position.

With most feeling this NC State team left a lot of meat on the bone, the criticism of manager Elliott Avent feels different this year. A lack of situational awareness plagued the Pack all year, and with rumors about a very busy transfer portal looming, Avent & Co. are in for a dramatic offseason.

Limerick Friday #586: Bidding Adieu To The Precious Pair Of "Ted Lasso" And "Barry" -- Day 1,175

 

The corniness was strong 

And maybe a little long

But how to end a show

Like freaking "Ted Lasso"?

Cherished every tear and song

Guidance is manic

Leadership by panic

Unilateral decisions

To universal derision

Can we find a manager mechanic?

Starters are coming around

A modicum of offense found

The Metsies showing life

Amidst the injury and strife

But I still miss that trumpet sound

Good beyond any reason or rhyme

But it was finally time

To end the best show on TV

At least according to me

"Barry," you were simply sublime

It's been a minute

But ya gotta be in it

Pack in the postseason

The NCAA finally shows reason

Now just go freaking win it

Last time ...

Day 1,174, Quasi-Quarantine: The Five Stages Of Five County Stadium

 

This New Yorker cartoon resonated with me in a big way. Discovering and sharing the Carolina Mudcats with my son has been an amazing way to feel like a kid again. Looking forward to many more trips to see them play this summer.

Go Muddies (HEDBERT!!!).