Crazy Google searches find your blog space
Will usually types in “How to defeat mace”
Casie inspires ones like “Locker room escapades”
Paul’s are more, “Sixteen Candles panty raids”
Somebody found mine once with “tattoos on the face”
A shoutout to my friend Samwise Dingo
Landed a great job and now he’s raring to go
Ready to leave keywords in the dust
For a place where common sense is a must
That’ll be a nice change, as all of us well know
NC State hired an Irish redhead
Though some wanted Navy’s coach instead
He wins and he graduates players
While that Johnson coaches future sailors
O’Brien knows our school color ain’t yellow, it’s red
Collects college sweatshirts, you see
Cheers for Dook, EZU and UNC?!
Pirates and Devils and Heels, oh my
Ugly enough to make a blind date cry
Now he’s stalking poor kids as a Jaycee
Evan’s friend decided that poker he’d ditch
Everyone realizes that’s the move of a bitch
If you break plans with your boys,
All your excuses are just noise
Unless you’re the meat in a Scarlett-Salma sandwich
Limerick Friday I
Limerick Friday II
Limerick Friday III
Limerick Friday IV
Limerick Friday V
Limerick Friday VI
Limerick Friday VII
Best of … Limerick Friday
Limerick Friday IX
Happy Birthday to Scott (Scoogles)
ReplyDeleteCasie thinks his ass is hot
Brent misses his posting
but to him, today we are toasting
A good friend he is to a lot.
I'm happy O'Brien will be at State Coaching
We went to BC and starting poaching
I just want someone who is gonna win
even if its not The Chin
I can't find anything else to rhyme with coaching.
Punking out is not the way to go
especially for some random ho
A bad message that has sent
He needs to read the blog post by Brent
some people just don't know.
Paul likes the microwave meals
ReplyDeletewhile Scoogle is trying to make deals
Steve finds THK dissed the FormerHost
whats the deal with casie's post?
Brent is gonna have a cut brake line behind his wheel
(This is in the new Limerick 2.0 format)
ReplyDeleteIf I ever thought I might skedaddle
I might like to live in Seattle
The beautiful mountains, the sea and the rain
Without rednecks to drive me insane
But it would be sad to leave Carolina
The soft southern drawl and breakfast at the Shiny Dina
So stop the grinning, drop the lining and please try hard not to tattle
aw fuck there's a new format,
ReplyDeleteevans' limericks still are doormats,
i like to cuss in my rhymes,
i think i was irish in olden times,
evan's friend's girl on his face she sat.
NC-pew keeps their same moral stance,
ReplyDeleteand raids ACC schools like George Clooney raids womens' pants,
it's OK cause karma makes former hotties turn into ho's,
why you think Lorenzo Charles drives limos,
i guess it's deportation time for Gavin Grant.
Scoogles once once found an alien moth
ReplyDeleteScarier than a tauntaun on Hoth
He's come a long way from the streets
In Durham with Revil busting mad beats
Scoogs was Chunk, Revil was sloth
Mixing booze and pills wasn't the plan
ReplyDeleteBut obstaining on Thursdays is tough for this man
Last night i thought i saw the Heat Miser
Thanks to the good folks at Pfizer
From he and Snow Miser i ran
We need to plan a lunch with Danny
ReplyDeleteI hope the hostess isn't that Tranny
I'll bust out a fancy Christmas sweater
No Casie, so we'll surely miss her
As Doug misses staring at her fanny
This is a nice one to say around the holidays:
ReplyDeleteIt''s sad to watchg my friends struggle
With finding a lady to snuggle
Instead of acting like a damned skirt
Give her a heaping helping of throat yogurt
While your balls she does juggle
Is Skip Holtz replacing Tom O'Brien?
ReplyDeleteIf so, EZU in-breds will be cryin'
The new coach might make recruits actually qualify
And memorize Dr. Seuss and pop-up books on the fly
On trailers everywhere half-mast purple flags will be flyin'
There was once a quarterback named Rodney Cox
ReplyDeleteHe could throw but was dumb as a box of rocks
Wanted to go to NC State
But he couldn't really spell or calculate
So EZU said, "No problem, you're as smart as our professors and docs"
"I'm amphibious, i can dribble with both hands",
ReplyDeletesaid the packer b-ball boy to the newsman,
we all laughed, he didn't know why,
he went to nc state where players careers do die,
now he smokes crack from soda cans
To some pizza bowl EZU fans go
ReplyDeleteTo Alabamans, true 'necks they will show
On I-85 a fleet of purple double-wides
Full of sisters who are now brothers' brides
The whole bunch has a total of about 30 teeth or so
Scott Harley could barely drive a bike
ReplyDeleteWas illiterate since he was a tike
Plowed his car into an elementary school
Wiped off the mouth-breathing, drunken drool
Then said, "Wow, this is what a library looks like?"
Scott Harley kicked NC State ass,
ReplyDeleteran so far ECU never did pass,
i think he's still running on that lame red and white team,
nc-cow football made Milli Vanilli look mean,
no bowl for State, hey you save money on gas!!!!
Scott Harley kicked NCSU ass,
ReplyDeleteran so far ECU never did pass,
that's what ya get with NCSU team,
they make Milli Vanilli look mean,
no bowl for nc-cow means they save money on gas.
Scott Harley looked to Raleigh with envy
ReplyDeleteSaid, "Damn, coulda gone der if I dun got my GED"
Did us a favor and helped oust Mike O'Cain
Then missed out on John Thompson's short-lived reign
Now he lives in a shack and loves Leonard Henry
O'Cain and Amato,
ReplyDeletelose to ECU and ya gotta go-go,
your team aspires to recognition,
but it's players don't know the definition,
Amato's implants are goona blow.
I once dated a girl who was a ski bunny
ReplyDeleteLike candle wax dripped on her bare tummy
She was athletic and tall
But never talked about college football
Can we please change the subject to something more funny?
Yeah, it doesn’t rhyme, and it’s only partially based on the truth, but then again the
limericks lately have been about the same inbred, redneck, “who’s the biggest turd in the ACC toilet bowl” subject
No-shows from Brent, Paul and Casie
ReplyDeleteReasons why these limericks are a tad lazy
But beautiful mountains and a mythical ski bunny?
And you say the other rhymes aren't funny?!
I was there when a 'Canes fan kicked the shit out of Pacey
This morning Brent asked me what rhymes "throat-yogurt"
ReplyDeleteI said that's easy, "Tow Bert"
He doesn't appreciate my extensive vernacular
That my creativity is simply spectacular
Next time Brent can go blow-dirt